Was It Worth It?

An academically anxious seventh grade girl, Lily, sat in a small classroom with fourteen classmates. They had all finished grammar school at HLS the year before with one teacher, but now they would have four or five teachers in the Upper School, each with slightly different expectations and a different pace.

Lily was the type of student every school would cherish, but one who could also fall through the cracks. She was very quiet, a diligent note-taker, always prepared for class, but not quick to absorb new material and she was aware of her academic struggles compared to some of her high achieving classmates. Her transition to Upper School was not easy. Her parents scheduled a meeting to ask, "Is this worth it?"

Lily spent long hours completing homework and preparing for tests, and would often receive lower grades than her peers. She would have had a higher GPA at other local schools. Would the pace and rigor of our Upper School defeat her? 

Selfishly, I knew the class was better with Lily. While she struggled with the pace of the content, she always maintained such a kind and loving spirit towards others and school. In a small class students begin to behave with a familiarity of siblings; caring and loving one moment, while irritating and unkind the next. Lily was the mature one. She simply avoided being in the middle of the unpleasantries and moved between social groups. It was impossible to be mean or exclusive with Lily around. She calmed the rough social waters when they rose.

At the conclusion of 7th grade I received a very nice and remarkably encouraging letter from Lily. She thanked me for my support, kindness, and faith in her. She acknowledged that 7th grade was much harder than she suspected and was uncertain about continuing, yet expressed such gratitude that I kept this note. It really touched me. 

Five years after receiving the note, Lily prepared for graduation at the Crescent Hill Baptist Church. She had developed in confidence and scholarship over the high school years. She still got stressed over grades and the long hours she dedicated to study, but she persevered joyfully and was an excellent role model for younger students. Her parents put their faith in God, Lily, and the school. They accepted the type of academic commitment Lily had to muster, along with the occasional periods of academic anxiety, all while maintaining the hope that "this was all worth it."

When Lily graduated, I tucked the note she had written me in seventh grade inside her diploma pocket, with the added words, "we did it together". I knew how hard she had worked and how much she had given to the culture, and wanted her to know that she was truly seen. 

Fast forward another twelve years. I had just sent an email to the entire HLS community, announcing that I was stepping away from school leadership after twenty-three years. The replies came quickly, from direct messages, texts, and other expressions of gratitude. But one email, from a last name I did not recognize, landed harder than all the rest. 

Lily had married, but I had not heard from her in over a decade. She was a mother of a two-and-a-half-year-old with a second child on the way. She reflected on her academic highs and lows, but emphasized how simple words of encouragement and being surrounded by people who cared had a tremendous impact on her life. She reminded me of the note in her diploma and said it meant the world to her. She closed her email stating that she hoped the children God blesses her with will be able to experience the good, the true, and the beautiful of HLS someday.

Was it worth it? I finally had my answer.